Rev. Melinda Giese, Minister of Discipleship & Pastoral Care
One of my favorite ways to describe authenticity is the simple saying: You do you. It’s also worth noting that when I was growing up, this saying did not yet exist. Instead, the emphasis in the 1980s and 90s was on fitting in with our peer groups, not standing out. In the past, many of us learned to blend in, to say what others wanted us to say, and to hide some of our unique qualities. Thankfully, times have changed, and we now recognize the value of authenticity. When you think of someone you most admire, what comes to mind? Is it the ways they blended in with others, or is it their unique character or approach to life?
I thought about the question of authenticity this week as I debated whether I should tell my new and randomly assigned pandemic pen pal that I am a pastor. On the one hand, I suspect that I would get more interesting, uncensored letters if I kept my role as a pastor to myself! I also worried about how my pen pal might react, since some people are uncomfortable around clergy, fearing that we will be critical and judgmental. Even though I conveniently left the details of my job out of my first letter, I included it in my second. Authenticity means deciding to trust others with the truth about our lives, especially when we are not sure how they might react.
In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown shares a practical tip for living more authentically. She explains that she tries to make authenticity her priority in situations where she feels vulnerable. She writes, “If authenticity is my goal and I keep it real, I never regret it. I might get my feelings hurt, but I rarely feel shame. When acceptance or approval becomes my goal, and it doesn’t work out, that can trigger shame for me: ‘I’m not good enough.’ If the goal is authenticity and they don’t like me, I’m okay. If the goal is being liked and they don’t like me, I’m in trouble.”
As we near Holy Week, we remember how fickle the crowds were in their reactions to Jesus. On Palm Sunday, he was greeted as a king (Luke 19:29-44), but by Friday, the crowds demanded his crucifixion (Luke 23:13-25). Through it all, Jesus remained true to himself, his relationship with God, and his own sense of what he needed to do. The crowds did not sway Jesus either with their praises or with their rejection. When we watch Jesus throughout Holy Week, we witness great authenticity and deep courage.
For most of us, authenticity is the work of a lifetime. It takes time to let go of our fear of what other people think of us. It also takes intentional reflection to recognize the places where we pretend to be people we’re not. But little by little, we start to see that God never intended us to be second-rate imitations of someone else, but fully and completely ourselves.